Please, Stop Asking Me If I Want a Son


As my women have gotten older, a brand new sentiment has emerged from strangers. “Be grateful you will have women,” they are saying. “Boys are a handful!” This remark strikes me as a clear humble-brag, implying that boys are all-American rascals, whereas women are tidier and effectively mannered and, effectively, much less fascinating.

How can I clarify to them that—although there’s a substantial amount of hair-related crying in my house—my daughters have interaction in all types of harmful conduct, together with topless whittling and frying sausage bare? They’ve damaged arms in and outdoors the home, and use knives to sharpen pencils, and may destroy a room with the power of a crew of extremely skilled looters. We arm-wrestle at dinner, leg wrestle at dessert, thumb wrestle at church. I’ve taught them the way to maintain hissing bottle rockets and hurl them barehanded into the evening sky.

My daughters may by no means play beginning quarterback, however all three can throw a good spiral. I’ve seen to it.

AS I’VE GOTTEN OLDER, I’ve put to relaxation some demons about my father, and I’ve let some issues go, together with my anger, when individuals ask me if I desire a son, which they nonetheless do. “We’ve three child jaguars,” I say, “and they’re the perfect.”

Possibly a son will sooner or later emerge. If that’s the case, we will embrace the lad. However I now not have urges to sire a male inheritor who will maintain my title alive. As a result of, actually, who cares? (Plus, my name lives on in bookstores throughout the land, which requires not sons, however editors.)

The reality is, I’ve devoted my life to making an attempt to be adored by girls, and now my days are stuffed with little girls daring me to be adored by them, and I don’t hate it. After all, you’re free to need your baby to be a boy or a lady or a nectarine, if that’s your factor. However go away me alone about my women. I’ll lower you. Or they are going to. They’ve knives.

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